


Male

by fuckthenaysayers



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Trans, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 01:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckthenaysayers/pseuds/fuckthenaysayers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things were still difficult sometimes, one time he'd fucked up shaving and decided to just go in clean faced for once, let his wispy beard regrow fully, but the reactions weren't what he'd expected. "Man, Ray. You know, without your beard you actually look kinda girly." Joel was the one to say that, with an innocent smile on his face as he inspected Ray's clean cut face as they went out to lunch. "Really? Weird." Ray's laugh was quiet and a bit broken, and he vowed to never shave again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Male

Ray wasn't a touchy person. It was clear to everyone in Achievement Hunter, how the man flinched and shied away from physical contact. Everyone understood though, not every guy was as hands on as Michael or Gavin. Not every person wanted to wrestle like children on the floor, and that was fine. For the most part it wasn't a problem, people gave him space and it wasn't a big deal. Joel was different though. It's like he didn't understand the meaning of personal space sometimes.

He proved that during the AHWU when he all but molested Ray's face, the man laughing awkwardly and standing rigid as Joel caressed his face, almost knocking his glasses off. That wasn't the only time though, ever since, Joel seemed to revel in ignoring Ray's personal boundaries, out of plain ignorance though. He liked the younger man, found him fun and cute and he wanted to show it in a way other than words. Which is why he tried to be close, make friends in a way he didn't really know how, just knowing he wanted Ray close.

It worked, eventually, and they started hanging out more. They grew closer, emotionally anyways, and when Joel ended up kissing him, Ray actually felt at peace with the closeness for once in his life. It felt good, and right, and if he could have kisses like that for the rest of his life, he'd deal with the awkward touches and hugs. 

Things were still difficult sometimes, one time he'd fucked up shaving and decided to just go in clean faced for once, let his wispy beard regrow fully, but the reactions weren't what he'd expected. "Man, Ray. You know, without your beard you actually look kinda girly." Joel was the one to say that, with an innocent smile on his face as he inspected Ray's clean cut face as they went out to lunch. "Really? Weird." Ray's laugh was quiet and a bit broken, and he vowed to never shave again.

That was the last time Ray shaved before work, though no one would really notice. He and Joel were still dating, though it was hard to tell. They went out to lunch or dinner now and then, sometimes a movie, but they never went over each other's house. Never stayed the night together, though Joel seemed keen on it. He had no ulterior motives, he just wanted to spend more time together. At the rate they went it felt like they were just good friends, going out to eat together or hang out every now and then. They rarely kissed too, and Joel was always the one to initiate it.

"Ray? Do you actually like me?" Joel finally asked what had been bugging him for a while as they ate dinner together. Ray looked up, a bit panicked. "What do you mean? Of course I do!" Joel looked less than satisfied with the answer.

"It's just... you don't really seem to like spending time with me. We never visit each other outside of going out somewhere, and you never try to kiss me. If you just wanna be friends, just tell me. I'm an adult, I'll handle it." Ray swallowed, knowing he couldn't stay too secret for long. 

"Joel don't say that. I like you... hell I-I think I might love you. I'm just a really secretive person, but I'll try to be more open with you. How about we skip the movies tonight and you just come over instead? We can watch a DVD or something." Joel's smile was back and Ray relaxed, happy to see his boyfriend happy once more. 

"I love you too, Ray. That sounds great."

Despite all of Ray's worries, the night went great. He and Joel just chilled at home, watched a couple movies and Joel left around midnight, no hassles. Because it went so well, they started doing it more often. Sometimes at Joel's, sometimes at Ray's. They got even more comfortable then they once were, and Ray even started initiating little pecks here and there, much to Joel's happiness.

But being more comfortable with each other wasn't fully a good thing. Ray had gotten so used to being around Joel that he'd forgotten just why he'd had his guard up in the first place. He was painfully reminded of it one day, when they had just arrived at Ray's place. It'd been raining, so Ray told Joel to grab himself a towel, heading to his room to change clothes. He'd just pulled his shirt off when Joel walked in.

"Hey Ray, do you have any shirts big enough... for me..." his sentence trailed off as he caught sight of Ray's chest. The younger man froze, looking at Joel with terror and panic in his eyes. What caught Joel's eyes were the two symmetrical scars that lay just inches under Ray's nipples, faded lines from a double mastectomy he'd had years ago. Slowly Ray pulled a dry shirt on, sitting on the edge of his bed once he was covered. 

"Ray, what.... what was that?" Joel asked quietly. The silence was thick and heavy, choking them as it filled the room, Joel staring at Ray, Ray staring at his hands. "They're scars. From my mastectomy." 

"Why did you have a mastectomy?" Joel's words were slow and careful, Ray tearing up as he realized Joel was slowly understanding the truth. 

"Because I didn't want my breasts anymore." Ray whispered, the admission almost inaudible. But Joel heard it, and there was no unhearing it now. It took a moment before Joel was kneeling in front of Ray, cupping his face in his hands.   
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Joel asked quietly, the other sniffling as the corners of his eyes pricked with tears. 

"Because I didn't want to lose you. Because I knew that you were gay and I got so scared I'd never find someone to accept me fully. So I hid it all away. But now you know and now it's over and I've fucked it all up." He hiccuped as spoke, tears rolling down his cheeks now as he worked himself up. 

"Baby, Ray, no. Don't cry." Joel kissed his cheeks, kissing away all the tears he could, brushing Ray's bangs out of his eyes as he stared into them. "Ray listen to me. I love you. There's nothing you could've hid from me that would make me stop loving you, even if I wanted to. You are my handsome, wonderful, considerate and cute boyfriend and I'm not giving you up now even if you begged me."

He kissed him tenderly, to drive his point home. Ray's return kiss was frantic and almost desperate, as though Joel's lips were the antidote to what had been ailing him this whole time. They kissed for a couple minutes, until Ray had calmed down enough, and Joel finally pulled away when the tears stopped fully. 

"Do you really mean it? That you're okay with it?" the younger asked quietly, Joel smiling as he ruffled Ray's rain-dampened hair. "Of course. No matter what, you are and always will be my Ray."


End file.
